Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
