Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
