So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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