It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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