Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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