the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
