Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I need moral support for this bender
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Watching her eat just hurts me
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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