im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
