Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
