how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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