Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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