Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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