Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
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Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
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also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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