it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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