so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
