He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
