i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
