She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
