your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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