i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
5 Insecurities That Are Ruining Your Sex Life
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Nikki Haley Calls Jared Kushner A Hidden Genius—And Twitter Ain’t Buying It
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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