I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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