so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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