4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
