You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
this is an emotional support booty call
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
