she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
