the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
