I am in a vortex of obligation.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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