Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
