my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
