i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
