I am in a vortex of obligation.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
