Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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