my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
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You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
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They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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