I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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