Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
