there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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