I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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