Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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