you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
