He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
