WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
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