i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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