You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
