So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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