I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize