great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
honey bunches of taint.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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