He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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