Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
