i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
