Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
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