And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
