Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
