we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
as a side note pls kill me
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
