My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Terrible idea I love it
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
