You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
