i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
PANTIES FOUND
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
