69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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