All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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