You can't special order awesome
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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