Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
