I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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