i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
