I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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