I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
